@trevso_electric: When your girlfriend is PMS'ing, cheer her up by showing her that "totally weird" text you got from your ex last night.
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@TwoSapphiresBlu: "May your old acquaintances be forgotten and never brought to mind." -Sir Smirnoff
@Brianhopecomedy: WANTED: Sanity LAST SEEN: In store, right before I told my 4 year old that he couldn't get a new toy REWARD: 4 year old
@rachelle_mandik: do you think the guy who designed hand grenades really hated pineapples, or really loved them?