@_NTFG_: When your mate says his name is Stephen with a 'ph' to the cashier and he gets his Starbucks cup back reading 'PHEVEN'. That.
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@gojarbe: [on a date] me: what's your favorite book series about a big red dog? her: uhh Clifford, i guess me: wow we have a lot in common
@Vodkantots: Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, ma'am? Me: Do these jeans make me look fat? Cop: You're free to go.
@NatePhilbrick: If other jobs got the same response as writing: -You're a fireman? Have you put out any famous fires? -You're a lifeguard? Can I be a victim in your next rescue? -You're a physicist? I have a few universe theories myself! -You're a chef? I'd do food too, but I never have time.