@_NTFG_: When your mate says his name is Stephen with a 'ph' to the cashier and he gets his Starbucks cup back reading 'PHEVEN'. That.
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@murrman5: [wife replies to text that I found a genie] dont do a thing im almost home [she pulls up and the car from the cars movie is in the driveway]
@SteveSuckington: Me: I need to sleep Ambien: do worms have buttholes? You should text your boss
@PortRooster: Buddy of mine dropped some acid... Burnt a hole in the floor... He was tripping for days!