@markleggett: When your parents held you as a baby for the first time, they secretly hoped you'd end up arguing with strangers on a celebrity's Instagram.
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@jonnysun: [taking atendance] teacher: jimmy jimmy: here teacher: susie susie: here teacher: (sighs) omnipresemt sentinel omnipresent sentinel: ａｌｗａｙｓ
@RichardDawkins: I can't think of many people who deserve to go to hell, but people who teach its existence to vulnerable children are prime candidates.
@JulieSnark: Pepsi and Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along. Pffftt.