@FussySaffa: When your partner asks how many people you have ever slept with, answering 'what did I say the last time you asked?' is unwise, apparently.
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@grantgirl2004: A large account followed me to thank me for a trophy through DM, then immediately unfollowed me. It must be exhausting to be Twitter elite.
@TheEllenShow: I love the Olympics #OpeningCeremony. It reminds me of that time I had to run to the creek when my sleeve caught on fire.
@PJTLynch: Has anyone checked whether cows really have 4 stomachs? Because it kinda sounds like a lie a cow made up once to get more food