@WilliamAder: When your pet is staring at you, it's probably thinking "I wonder how long those things live."
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@Rollinintheseat: I use a wheelchair. Whenever I'm at a job interview and they ask me what my greatest weakness is, I always want to say, "Stairs".
@Douchekevin: SHHHHH!!!!!!! I just got followed by a Jehovah Witness. All of you keep quiet and pretend we aren't home...
@juliussharpe: I'll vote for whichever presidential candidate promises to end the banter before two people announce who won an Emmy.