@WilliamAder: When your pet is staring at you, it's probably thinking "I wonder how long those things live."
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@DebasaurusRex: I won't be gratified sexually until someone dumps one of those big Gatorade containers on me after.
@better_off_dad: A simple smile can brighten someone's day... ...but a wide-eyed, toothy lunatic smile can keep them up all night.
@okaypup: "Do not purchase if seal is broke" *looks over at homeless seal* *places canned pickles back on the shelf*