@PressOneForNo: When your toddlers are teenagers don't forget to wake them at 5am because your sock came off
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@VintageBabe1212: Decided to stop partying at friends houses who have toddlers... Those childproof bathroom doorknobs are absolutely hell to open while drunk.
@PhilJamesson: A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly. [I scramble to take off my full-body fly costume]
@fizzlestothetop: Well, seeing as Jesus only had 12 followers, I'd say I'm doing pretty well for myself.
@TheFearBoners: When one door closes, another opens. Also, you can open the closed door. That's how doors work. How do you know so little about doors?