@marknorm: When you're a kid and you have an accident you pee your pants. When you're an adult and you have an accident you have a kid.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Marlebean: Kid: What's this? Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin? M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch? M: ...
@SondraDeeMe: [Skype] ME: Finally I see your face and wow. HIM: [naked] Where are you?! ME: Starbucks. Wanna meet a few friends? They like your tweets.
@briangaar: I just want to be one of those dads who runs on the field & tackles an opposing 6 year old