@marknorm: When you're a kid and you have an accident you pee your pants. When you're an adult and you have an accident you have a kid.
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@MrFornicator: Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
@weinerdog4life: If you love something keep it in the refrigerator, keep it fresh, that thing you love is a lot like mayonnaise.
@vineyille: Celebrating christmas in another country, santa leaves a chicken cutlet in my boot. "Is that good?" No one will make eye contact with me.
@dysalexia: You guys I found this new great birth control called pregnant women posting pictures on Facebook.