@warne888: When you're at someone's house? Normal people: "What a lovely house!" Me: "What's your wifi password?"
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@Nikkeya08: I got all my coworkers condoms and bibles for Valentines Day because I'm praying they get laid
@Reverend_Scott: THIS IS THE POLICE. COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP. "Wrong house guys." ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? "Yup, happens a lot." OKAY COOL, SORRY.
@Cheeseboy22: Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco.