@Darlainky: When you're craving a Krabby Patty so bad!!! But the Krusty Krab is closed....and also fictional.
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@PaulFrei: Don't know what this myth is about cell usage blowing up a gas pump. I'm filling my tank right now. See? It's no big de
@missokistic: Ayn Rand, Rand Paul and Paul Ryan walk into a bar. The bartender serves them tainted alcohol because there are no regulations. They die.
@bmarked21: From now on when people forcefully show me pictures of their baby, I'm simply going to reply, "Hmm... I've seen better."
@goldengateblond: OBAMA: I want to close Gitmo GOP: no OBAMA: But you haven't even— GOP: no OBAMA: ... GOP: no OBAMA: I'm resigning GOP: no OBAMA: haha gotcha