@TheNardvark: When you’re cutting wrapping paper and your scissors start to glide is what I imagine heroin feels like.
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@Voiceofgarth: WANTED: Call center workers with very weak english, poor communication skills and short temper needed for major bank. Bonus paid for low IQ.
@curlycomedy: Lifehack: dress your young children in the colors of the food you are serving them to avoid outfit changes.
@delusions_of: Only resort to violence when necessary like when the grocery store won't accept your coupon.