@canadian_egg: When you're sad, hug a kid. But make sure it's yours cuz that shit would be weird.
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@ThaJawn: Coworker *parks Prius Coworker 2 *locks bike up Me *bounces by on jumping exercise ball made of recycled tires* POSERS!
@iamburtjarvis: HOW TO SURVIVE A BEAR ATTACK: STEP 1: buy a recliner STEP 2: buy some beer STEP 3: stay home and watch tv instead of going into the woods
@Donna_McCoy: Sorry, I can't be around you today. The temptation to smack you in the face is just too great.
@TheOnlyMANiC: Imagine Putting £5 worth of fuel in your car and your cars like "well, since we're both being childish" And refuses to open the door.