@jennalynn518: Whenever a bill collector calls I just give the phone to my toddler and tell her it's Barney.
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@PinkCamoTO: If you think Lord of the Flies couldn't happen, you've clearly never seen a group of 7 year olds go after a piñata.
@Eatingmeals: The women at the club tonight are so unapproachable. Getting discouraged. Good thing mom is here to tell everyone what a super guy I am.
@shutupmikeginn: Ghost of Caesar: and what of my legacy? what now bares my name? Buildings? Mountains? Me:uhh remember how you used to love romaine lettuce?