@BakwasRadio: Whenever a guy peeps into my phone, I open the front cam and take a selfie with him.
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@jwoodham: Some people say America is obese, but I blame our flag. Everyone knows that horizontal stripes make you look fatter.
@AnitaHelmet: My husband hasn't forgiven me for answering 'Okie dokie artichokie' instead of utilizing the more socially acceptable phrase, "I do."
@kwirkyKerri: Then Satan said, "Let's convince everyone they need to go gluten free." And that kids, was the Christmas fiasco of 2015.