@Phook75: Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I'm really fun to talk to.
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@Matt_The_1st: I applied for a loan from the U.S. Government, but was turned down because I had a legitimate repayment plan
@Ivsy01: Me:(Standing on a Bosu Ball at bootcamp) No one tells us what to do. Trainer(rolling eyes) Rene, get down. You asked me to teach this.
@randomnloveit: Dear people that brush your teeth in the bathroom at work: stop that. You don't live here. Chew gum like the rest of us.
@psybermonkey: Me: I haven't spoken to my mom in years. I do love her though. Therapist: She isn't going to live forever. You should call and tell her. Me: You're right...*dials number* Mom, you're going to die *hangs up*