@junejuly12: Whenever an automatic hand dryer doesn't turn on for me, I like to think my diet is really working.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: "Son, do you know why we named you Easter Bunny?" *sigh* "Because you don't b-" "BECAUSE WE DON'T BELIEVE IN YOU"
@themorris23: To all the "cougars" out there, shame on you for not calling yourselves "Thundercats" shame. on. you.
@bencoffeehall: My report card always said I was not living up to my full potential. Well, the joke's on them. That really was as good as I was going to get
@SequelsWeWant: Twister 2: Climate change makes tornadoes evolve. They work together. We can't beat them. We team up instead The twisters destroy ISIS.