@junejuly12: Whenever an automatic hand dryer doesn't turn on for me, I like to think my diet is really working.
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@Sarcasticsapien: Spider-Man's a great addition to The Avengers, if they're looking for a superhero who is best at watching people they love die.
@XplodingUnicorn: 6: Why are we at the vet? Me: So our pig can't have babies 6: How do you know she doesn't want babies? Me:*looks at my kids* Just a hunch