@farleftcoast: Whenever anyone quotes the Bible to me I quote Harry Potter to them because I too love a good magical fiction book.
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@LimeyTheGreat: My youngest son can now reach the light switches, so don't come over to my house, unless you're really into raves or want to have a seizure.
@Reverend_Scott: GOD: Done. ANGEL: What is it? GOD: A penguin. ANGEL: So it can fly, right? GOD: This one's a swimmin' bird. ANGEL: Dude... are you ok?
@pleatedjeans: [tells friend cat passed away] Is there anything I can do? Yes [holds up fur coat] put this on & lie in my lap But I- [starts crying] OK OK