@blainecapatch: whenever god closes a door he opens a window because he's taking a pretty nasty shit in there.
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@Donnie_Fairburn: "Son, hey son" Yeah dad? "Know why we named you Adopted?" *Sighs* Because I'm adop- "BECAUSE YOU'RE ADOPTED" Good one dad "I'm not your dad"
@briangaar: Goodnight moon. Goodnight stars. Goodnight 4,000-year-old Earth. Goodnight dinosaur fossils that were put here to test our faith.
@llvvzz: Literally nothing has had less of an impact towards changing my life than that inspirational quote you posted on social media.