@blainecapatch: whenever god closes a door he opens a window because he's taking a pretty nasty shit in there.
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@DanielRCarrillo: "I'm a green onion and I'm here to say, I can be enjoyed most every day." -A rapscallion
@perhapssomeday: My mother arrives on Friday, so I have to do three months worth of cleaning in 48 hours. Also, lose 30 pounds and live up to my potential.
@bluebonetbabies: My son just threatened to not talk to me for the rest of the day. I'm 3% offended and 97% hoping he follows through.
@adamlucidi: The How I Met Your Mother series will end tonight & everyone is thinking the same thing...if only it were The Big Bang Theory instead.