@HavocMantis: Whenever I experience happiness, I signal this to other humans by showing the sharpest part of my skeleton.
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@ScorpionDong: What do we want? -SHITTY MUSIC COMPILATIONS! When do we want them? -NOW! THAT'S WHAT I CALL MUSIC
@DrCephalopod: [doctor's office] Me: My eye hurts. Doctor: Okay. But first let's have you step up on this scale so we can see how fat you are.
@neiltyson: If I ever met a Space Alien, I’d resist shaking its extended appendage, not knowing for sure the details of alien anatomy.
@casual_koala: Don't get upset if you hit a lot of red lights on your way to work. You'd turn red too if you had to change in the middle of the street.