@HavocMantis: Whenever I experience happiness, I signal this to other humans by showing the sharpest part of my skeleton.
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@TheCiscoKidder: A fine piece of art is like a fine piece of ass, I don't understand either one but I want to take both home and mount them against the wall.
@Smug_Lemur: Good News: Got rid of the skunk smell on the cat using hydrogen peroxide, dishsoap & baking soda Bad News: the cat now looks like Billy Idol
@thenamesmikeG: The weirdest thing just happened. I had Cancer, then 15 people on Facebook were brave enough to change their statuses, & now I'm cured.
@SondraDeeMe: My Medical Emergency Contact is a girl from college who promised she'd pluck any stray hairs off my face if I slipped into a coma.