@rolldiggity: Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
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@topaz_kell: Health Tip: If you find a pill on the floor of a public restroom, rinse it off before taking it.
@GrabTheWEness: *posts Social Security number on social media* *hopes someone steals his identity and pays off his mortgage*
@justabloodygame: As Caesar dies on the Senate floor, 'With or Without You' starts to play. "U2, Brutus?" He sighs, coughing wearily as the world fades away.
@Smooheed: I miss dating The excitement of meeting someone new, that feeling of butterflies when you see if you can climb out their bathroom window...