@rolldiggity: Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
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@wolfpupy: i argued with the parrot at the pet store until it got sold away and the guy who bought it wouldnt let me in his car. that means i won
@shutupmikeginn: Using the domino's pizza tracker app seems like a great way to carjack someone you know isn't going to put up that much of a fight
@Sean_Burgundy_: The fastest land animal is a guy that sees a woman about to go through his phone