@SandyPeterz: Whenever I have a twitter break, I check my job.
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@fro_vo: Dr: you have pneumonia Hillary: what's pneumonia Me: *fighting off secret service* not much monia what's pneu with you
@MariyaAlexander: Someone please recommend a self-help book that can teach me how to sleep through an alarm.
@Lhlodder: I can raise kids just fine, but keeping plants alive that only need to be watered once a month is apparently out of my reach.
@bornmiserable: I want to be a Walmart greeter just so I can tell customers who come in "everyone enters, but not everyone leaves"