@SandyPeterz: Whenever I have a twitter break, I check my job.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheDreamGhoul: When someone asks "What's your favorite film?" instead of "What's your favorite movie?" I know instantly that my answer will disappoint them
@Jeff_G_Nixon: 3yr old: [whispering] I have a secret "What it is, sweetie?" 3: [shouting] I POOPED! "Do you know what a secret is?" 3: [whispering] no.
@C00LpenNAME: Why are we wasting time on all these "beware of dog" signs? I’ve never met a cat that wasn't obviously plotting to kill somebody...
@Reverend_Scott: [class trip] I'm farmer Joe, this is my farm DO U HAVE COWS? Yes, it's a dairy farm DO U HAVE WHALES? Kid, why wouldn't we have whales?