@KateWhineHall: Nothing is better than working out to 80s music. Except listening to 80s music without working out.

@FeelingMervis: HOW TO BECOME A CRAZY CAT LADY: 1) Get a cat. 2) Repeat.

@Tups13: There's no use crying over spilt milk. Particularly skimmed milk. Skimmed milk is watery enough without you sobbing into it.

@onion_an: Son: Dad can sand melt? Me putting down my glass: Don't be ridiculous of course it can't

@Parentpains: I wanna be the reason you get out of bed in the morning, even if it is to make sure the door is locked.