@GloriaFallon123: Whenever I hear someone call my name, my first instinct is to walk faster
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@flashember: [Doctor's Office] Sir, it appears you have takes-everything-literally disease. "Is it bad, doc?" Yes, but bear in mind- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
@matt___nelson: [angrily taking off banana suit] "Why didn't you tell me we were going to a funeral"
@Book_Krazy: Me: Hi. Can I help you? Him: I'm here about the wanted ad for the one night stand Me: Great. Where is it? Him: What? Me: The nightstand.