@SteveMartinToGo: Whenever I hear someone died of natural causes, I think, "Wait a minute. I have that."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KaylarWill: It's a shock to me that people actually pay their student loans. That's a bill I gave to Jesus
@AbrasiveGhost: GOD: [as a kid] DINOSAURS! GOD: [as a teenager] You will know the profound sadness of existence, humans.
@batkaren: Ghostbusters (1984): A large, jovial marshmallow sailor is burned alive amid the crossfire btwn humans and ethereal beings.
@turtledumplin: Why do you look surprised in all your selfies? Didn't you know you were taking the picture?