@Book_Krazy: Whenever I seductively unbutton my pants, I always maintain full eye contact with the waiter so he knows I want more table bread.
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@RealSugarFree: So far at work I've straightened a paper clip then tried bending it back to its original shape. Employee of the month right here.
@chrissyteigen: I am so lazy I thought about looking at the super moon and decided 2033 isn't even that far away
@smelbz: The worst part of going on a date with a guy I don't like is how my grandma always dies before our food gets there.