@Book_Krazy: Whenever I seductively unbutton my pants, I always maintain full eye contact with the waiter so he knows I want more table bread.
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@Phook75: So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response
@bobvulfov: [audition for a vampire tv show] ME: as u can see in my headshots, i'm a vampire CASTING DIRECTOR: theres no one in these photos ME: exactly
@didifalldown: [Robot Uprising] Human: Oh no a robot! What kind are you? Robot: I am a counting machine Human: Oh thank g— Robot: Now killing human #53822