@Jenny4ashley: Whenever I see a hot girl on the streets I'm like HOLY CRAP I'M OUTSIDE.
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@TheKenyan_: I just want to buy an old Mercedes Benz,so people will think I have been rich for a long time.
@illTortuga: "Hey, wanna hangout?" "Later." "Now?" "No, later" "How about now?" "Jesus christ." -if Adobe Updater was your friend
@ShortSleeveSuit: [blind date] Me: Oooh here she comes. Ok fella act cool. YOU GOT THIS Her: Hi, I’m Linda Me: *nose-whistles Despacito in its entirety*