@TheAlexP: Whenever I see a newspaper on a driveway, left out in the rain, I figure that house just forgot how to read.
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@minnie_in_pink7: I hope George Clooney dumps his wife so he and Brad Pitt can finally be happy together.
@FuckabillyRex: Life isn’t fair. Unless you’re a carny. Then life is pretty much all fair, all the time.
@TheAlexNevil: *looks at fish tank 6: It's part cat and part fish? Me: No it's just a fish *Catfish maintains eye contact while pushing over treasure chest
@LizHackett: Every evening from 7 to 8 PM, my neighbor's child practices piano with what sounds like her face.