@rolldiggity: Whenever I see a whirlpool, I scream, "Help! That tornado can't swim!"
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@causticbob: I had a few too many beers at an art exhibition and threw up all over the floor. Someone offered me three grand for it.
@FunnyMojoJojo: When one door closes another one opens. ... Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that's how doors work...!!
@Junk_Boat: She told me she "literally died laughing," and that's when I realized she had to be a zombie and shot her in the face.