@rolldiggity: Whenever I see a whirlpool, I scream, "Help! That tornado can't swim!"
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@cuppajosh: With 10K characters, I can finally get into great detail about how I'm not allowed at the company family picnic any more!
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: We’re playing Star Wars. I’m a Jedi and Mom is a stormtrooper. Me: What am I? 4-year-old: In the way.
@BradBroaddus: Wife: I want to see some snow. Me: You might get to see 3 to 4 inches tonight. Wife: I'd rather see snow.