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@KentWGraham: Why do doctor's offices take your blood pressure AFTER weighing you? Of course it's going to be high then.
@DamonHunzeker: If a lion ever bites off your arm, try to chew some of his hair off before you run away. He deserves to look stupid until it grows back.
@Swishergirl24: I just found out that the only thing you need to apply for a marriage license is your ID and an idiot.