@KentWGraham: Whenever I skip a day on the treadmill, I add the 25 minutes to the next day. Tomorrow, I will be running until 2026.
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@RidiculousSheri: The restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally, but just me getting a pat down from airport security.
@ILikeFaucet: Boss: Dan why is your hand raised? Me: can I go to the bathroom? Boss: Dan you're 23. This is a business meeting Me: so that's a yes?
@internetluke: Reporter 1: see Argentina needs to score here because if not they lose Reporter 2: so true jon. So true
@Reverend_Scott: [landlord walks in apartment] "I told you no pets!" That's a stray gerbil. "And those fish??" ...stray fish. SHOO FISH, SCRAM