@junkyardigan: Whenever I utter the word 'sober' I wash my mouth out with alcohol.
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@ValeeGrrl: That's it, teachers. Keep gloating on Facebook about your snow day. You'll see my kids tomorrow after their breakfast of Coke & Pixy Stix.
@HeyZeus666: I turned off Auto-Correct for the first time, and now my new girlfriend thinks she has a face that launched a 1000 shits.
@MyPornKhan: I'm a married white male; my forefathers saw to it that I'm not allowed to be offended by anything.
@AristotlesNZ: I swear to god dude, if you say "But what if we get arrested?" One more time you're out of the group.