@junkyardigan: Whenever I utter the word 'sober' I wash my mouth out with alcohol.
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@LoneWolfStories: If I'm your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.
@HomeProbably: It doesn't matter how hard I try, I just don't seem to be going anywhere in life Hamster therapist: Sounds like you're in a vicious circle
@EJGomez: [holding my aunts stupid idiot baby] what sound does a cow make "moo!" good now a dog "woof woof!" 2 for 2. now...WHERES THAT MISSING PLANE