@Velocycrator: Whenever I'm alone, I like to dig a hole in my backyard, remove all my clothes, go inside that hole and pretend that I'm a carrot.
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@BraandoCommando: Me: preparing dinner Her: why did you just say that? Me: *sorry, I forgot to include the asterisk* Her: Hello?
@1Happytwit: They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn't mean to eat it. I don't want to be a bug.
@cepheusjackson: ME: The plane has wifi? Sweet, I'm going to Skype call that radio psychic. RADIO PSYCHIC: Go ahead caller, you're on the air ME: HOLY SHIT