@MarcusTheToken: Whenever I'm on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep.
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@dreamthievin: A small part of me is filled with self-loathing for how much pizza I can eat in one sitting. The rest of me is filled with pizza.
@Reverend_Scott: "SOMEONE IS VAPING" 911: Stay calm, were tracing it "HURRY" 911: THE VAPING IS COMIN FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE "OMG" 911: GET OUT GET OUT
@somecleverthing: Turtleneck pro: if you wear one while you're eating you can't get crumbs in your bra. Turtleneck con: see above.
@Tmoney68: Yeah, I'm allergic to wheat, but I really like it so I eat it anyway. I'm a real gluten for punishment.