@MarcusTheToken: Whenever I'm on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep.
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@BigBBanter: Friend is going bungee jumping so I told him he was born because of a broken rubber and he could die the same way. He didn't laugh...
@simoncholland: You wouldn't believe all of the Easter eggs I just found lying in the grass outside of this pre-school.
@BestScienceJoke: 2night's funniest bit: a fellow comic enters the room &, given a choice between talking w/ me & w/ a homeless man, chooses the homeless man.
@causticbob: I can't see those guns made on 3D printers catching on. If HP make the cartridges, it will be cheaper to buy an AK-47.