@AristotlesNZ: Whenever I'm picking up my wife I skid to a stop by her & yell "Come with me if you want to live!" so she knows she married pure awesomeness
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@AnOrangeSNES: *Hands girl a card that says Be Mine* Girl: Aw that's so sweet *Pulls out a pickaxe* Me: Come on, do it I need some iron ASAP lady!
@alispagnola: I just literally fell INSIDE a public toilet because I did too many squats earlier and couldn’t control my sitting down. This is the greatest proof I've ever had that fitness is not worth the struggle.
@Flattliner: Rearrange the letters P-N-E-S-I to spell out an important part of human anatomy that is more useful when it is erect. Er... SPINE?