@Overdue_Bills: Whenever my car won't start I open the hood so I can have a good look at all the things I don't understand.
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@craydrienne: My Mexican waiter put my food down in front of another white lady who looked nothing like me. I get it now. Oh wait that's not my waiter.
@Arr: The reason cats are so pissy is they're God's perfect killing machines but they only weigh 8lbs and we keep picking them up and kissing them
@RxitWounds: *Sits straight up in bed* "THE CHILDREN" *Kids are sitting in the produce department while two watermelons sleep peacefully in their beds*