@RelatabIe: whenever my mom criticizes me i yell “it’s probably genetic” and run out of the room as fast as i can
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@aedison: I’ve been training my facial muscles to do the nose twitch from Bewitched, and just had a huge breakthrough with the right nostril. Big day.
@hippieswordfish: 'maybe the world wasn't ready for pizza perfume' i thought to myself as i hid in a dumpster, watching the townspeople try to eat each other