@Phook75: Whenever my neighbor looks like they want to speak to me. I collapse to the ground motionless as if I were one of Andy's toys.
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@KentTheG: I dated a meteorologist once just so I could be with a woman who wasn't right all the time.
@Adam14: Coworker: I have a degree in History. Me: That'll really come in handy if life starts going backwards.
@connorhannigan4: high school is like a free trial on education and once you’ve graduated they say “now if you want to continue pay $100,000”