@MomOfTeen: Whenever my teen cleans his room, I get a brand new set of dishes.
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@Lord_Voldemort7: Q: Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road? A: So you'll never know which side he's on.
@sofarrsogud: Of all the things we should be thankful for at this time of year, not being a turkey is probably the main one.
@AlexRogaski: [2 Years into Cosmetology School] Me:[applying perfect contours] When are we gonna start learning about space?