@UnicornSyrup: Whenever people say "anything is possible", I think about trying to staple pudding to a tree.
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@tackoftheJar: *Sandra Bullock floating around in the background of all the new Star Wars movies*
@ThisOneSayz: Clearly something went amiss when I said I liked an animal in the bedroom and he showed up with a raccoon.
@Midgetspar: Remember: You can kill someone and wear their skin as a suit, but it's not identity theft until you use their debit card. Be smart about it.
@jferg1616: Best Buy: What's your street name? Me: FUNK MASTER FERG bia bia! Best Buy: No, the name of your street.