@daplusk: Whenever someone hugs me, I close my eyes and pretend they're a donut
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PortRooster: Niece (4): Uncle, what do you get if you mix blue and purple? Me: Blurple. *She walks away satisfied and amazed at all the things I "know"
@NicCageMatch: Just saw a girl wearing a "BAD GAL" t-shirt so I yelled "NO!" & smacked her on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
@hurlarious: Why doesn't every mistake in real life I make have a squiggly red line underneath it?
@JediGigi: I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty lonely for a girl with an extensive action figure collection AND a fear of rocking chairs.