@rolldiggity: Whenever someone on a plane reclines their seat into you, pull them back even further and whisper in their ear, "Keep going."
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@Douchekevin: Men don't ask for driving directions because we just don't want to arrive wherever you're making us go.
@LindaInDisguise: Me: When I was lying in bed, I found this huge lump. I need it removed. Doctor: Ma'am, that's your husband. Me: And your point is...?