@AbbyHasIssues: Whenever someone says, “Good question” I never hear their answer because I’m too busy congratulating myself for asking such a good question.
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@KKAlThani: If you don't get sarcasm, follow these simple steps that will definitely help you understand it easily: Die.
@simoncholland: A baby that is starting to wake up from a nap is like a solar eclipse. Whatever you do, do not look directly at it.
@Breadery: Relationships are about compromise. I pretend she's not watching a Gossip Girl boxset. She pretends I'm not digging her grave in the garden.
@SteveInevitable: When I'm looking for a parking spot I turn the radio down because clearly I can see better when it's quieter...