@hadafewbeers: Whenever someone says "I don't have a horse in that race" I respond with "You don't have a horse at all, Reggie. You have a cat & diabetes."
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@MavenofHonor: [during lull in conversation] maybe people who say the earth is flat are thinking of maps
@kcmoore51: Just heard a lady in Target scream "WE DON'T BUY THINGS JUST TO BUY THINGS" at her kids and now I kinda wish she'd have a talk with me also.
@Petote: *hates you so much replaces everything and everyone you love with a cat* even if you already have a cat, *replaces it with a worse cat*