@Kelly_skeleton: Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I know where you can buy drugs"
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@GuyThe_Guy: They say if you choose a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life. I have to work tomorrow.
@Darlainky: Grim Reaper: You know why I'm here. Me: Heavy drinking? Unhealthy diet? Texting and driving? GR: You should've forwarded that chain email.
@iNusku: I had this one night stand, and the next morning I felt so guilty I bought another one for the other side of the bed.