@Kelly_skeleton: Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I know where you can buy drugs"
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@carpetislava: BIDEN: How come you've never shown ME the swamp? OBAMA: Drain the swamp is a metaphor, Joe. BIDEN: Where will Shrek live?
@crunchenhanced: Has anyone else noticed that since the invention of the smart phone, bathroom stall graffiti was moved to Twitter?
@ImSoFrancis: BREAKING NEWS: Scientists have discovered what may be the worlds largest bed sheet. More on that as it unfolds.