@tacsanitchiban: Whenever someone says "let's get weird" my first thought is "I'm already there"
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@IziBoy121: I bought a blowup doll today, but I won't blow her up until tomorrow. I don't want to seem desperate.
@krustythe_klown: A bum gets on a bus and walks past a nun. The nun says "youre going to hell". The bum yells "Damn, Im on the wrong bus" ! :D
@dadofbieber: If one ex was drowning and the other was dangling from a cliff-edge and you had one set of ropes to save them....where would you hide it?
@QwertyJones3: I always keep a water spray bottle next to my bed in case a cat burglar breaks in.