@shariv67: Whenever someone says smart phones are turning people into zombies, look up from your phone just long enough to bite them.
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@Darlainky: Establish your dominance with the drive-thru attendant by saying, "That completes my order" before they ask.
@djdarrellripley: Her: (Sigh) How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey? Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!
@trevso_electric: Welcome to earth! You have a choice of private parts. Would you like the one that creates life & bleeds or the constant bad decision maker?