@o__0Dev: Whenever someone says, "that's what she said", I like to reply with, "not to you"
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@trevso_electric: Nice job Instagramming your plane ticket with enough personal information to take out a mortgage in your name.
@JoeP187: So when people say they religiously do something. Does that mean they do it really hypocritically and fairy tale like?
@KalvinMacleod: [parole hearing] OFFICER: are u reformed? ME: I— O: go on M: I th— O: tell us M: I'm— O: yes M: can I finish my sentence O: ok parole denied
@therealeatwood: Did you know that according to FDA regulations a goblin can be labeled as a hobgoblin even if it contains only 3% hob