@o__0Dev: Whenever someone says, "that's what she said", I like to reply with, "not to you"
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@TheRealNickKay: [DEATH ROW] WARDEN: Last meal? CON: Just a glass of lemonade please *Drinks lemonade/Burps* WARDEN: Pardon [CON WALKS FREE] W: SHIT
@BubblesnBooze: My phone just changed CrossFit to Croissant, this phone really knows me better than any human.
@patnspankme: When I wear cargo shorts and I need to find my phone I suddenly transform into a baseball coach giving play signals.