@Bandersnaaatch: Whenever someone says they have "a thing" for me, I secretly hope it's a pony.
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@SteveKoehler22: Blonde in laundromat asks to have a sweater cleaned. Attendant : "Come again ?" ( not hearing ) Blonde: "Nope, Just mustard this time"
@nikkithecanuck: Anytime I get something stuck in my throat, I use beer. I call this the Heineken maneuver
@knot_eye: Upon graduation from the University of Phoenix, do they just send you a screencap of your degree?