@mattZillaaaa: Whenever someone tells me "make yourself at home" at their house, I always clog their toilet
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@murrman5: are you the girl who has to type everything said in court? "yes" I'm sorry *looks back at prosecutor and answers his question as a dolphin*
@GirrlGenius: If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.
@Jeffwni: [hears a voice in the sky] - Is it you? GOD?! [kneels] Voice: Could the idiot on platform 4 stop kneeling every time I make an announcement?