@mattZillaaaa: Whenever someone tells me "make yourself at home" at their house, I always clog their toilet
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@Prof_Peejay: Students, unfollow me now. Tonight's drunk subtweets might sting a little. Especially you Britney. Your lab report was a pile of dog shit.
@DaddyJew: 6: can i have ice cream? Me: ur room clean? 6: if I clean it can I have ice cream? M: sure 6:*looks at room* thats ok I dont need ice cream
@GreenishDuck: Can't believe a woman would grow a life inside of her for 9 months and then name it Ian.