@RealDMK: Whenever someone with a bumper sticker cuts me off I automatically dislike the cause they support. Right now I'm not too fond of Literacy
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@mishakey: I was tailgating a slow driver earlier. He brake checked, flipped me off, and when that didn't work he turned his police lights on. Jerk.
@NikkiNeverAgain: Was told I can't use Wi-Fi at McDonald's unless I eat. So I am bringing a peanut butter sandwich.
@PopSlapFunk: 5: "Dad, to be the man of the house, you need to wear pants." Me: ... 5: ... Me: "It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Job's all yours."
@stephenjmolloy: [Trying to impress a girl on a date] Me: "Not to brag but I'm getting Windows 10 for free."