@thesulk: Whenever teachers say 'show your work', just write a bunch of numbers down and hope they're tired that night.
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@deedragonhunter: Beer: When are you coming home. Me: Right away honey. See. Marriage works. Just choose the right wife.
@OBiiieeee: If you watch the Mighty Ducks backwards it's about a hockey team that starts sucking so bad that the coach leaves and becomes an alcoholic.
@mean_spice: Torturer: I will break you Me: Do you wear that hood to hide your sadness? Torturer: *broken* ah hell man I just wanted to be a chef
@lejessica: I like to have a glass of water around to make sure there aren't any dinosaurs approaching.