@seamussaid: whenever the police put a mannequin in a squad car to slow traffic, I strategically place mannequins around town committing crimes
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@noog: [5 year old tugs on pant leg] Daddy if time stops at the speed of light then photons aren't actually moving, so is everything we see a lie?
@gruffybeard: Son: The landscapers almost hit me with their truck. Dad: So you're saying they almost... Mom: Don't do it! Dad: ...mowed you down.
@Zombie_Kit: Scary shit happens in horror movies at 3am. So when hubby woke up screaming with a leg cramp at 3am, I threw the bible at him.
@kaz474: Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.